The Totally Epically Wasn'tmeanttohappen Escape
by xXBWFXx
Summary: Rayman 2 Parody. Warning: This is probably not the sane fanfic you are looking for. If you do not like plots involving singing greenbottles, breakdancing pirates, incapable preteens, and totally sqealy fairies, this book is not for you.


**You guessed it, a Rayman 2 parody! Yayz! Anyway, for those that don't know, this is the game where Razorbeard invades Rayman's world.**

**Razor: -is eating tacos-**

**Me: You're meant to be invading Rayman's world!**

**Razor: After that, can I go back to eating tacos?**

**Me: I should think so, considering the only appearences you make after that are in Rayman M and Rayman teh Animatedd Series, the last of which isn't canon according to my friend Spiraldoor.**

**Razor: That wasn't me in the TV series, that was my twin Razormoustache.**

**Me: My point exactly. Now, let's get on with the story. But first, the full title is ****The Totally Epically Wasn't-meant-to-happen-and-in-all-ways-messed-up Escape. MMKay?**

* * *

_**Chapter One: The Extra-Shiny-Pride-of-the-Seas-as-Dangerous-as-my-Great-Aunt-Josie (Otherwise known as the Buccaneer**)_

* * *

_Like, Rayman, OMG._

_Listen, kiddie, cus I've got, like, bad news. Something totally not cool has happened. :(_

_You know that guy Razorbeard? Well, he, like, invaded our world!!11!! OMG!!!11!!_

_Like, he got all his, like, jazzy robo-assistants, and he, like, enslaved us all!!1!! Even you!!11!_

_Which was, like, soooooo obvious, cus, like, you're the one in the jail cell!_

_But never mind kiddo, I, like, have sooooo totally sent help!_

_Totally signing off,_

_Ly :) x-x-x_

_*_

Rayman closed his eyes, replaying the message over and over again. He wasn't sure why, he just felt like it. He sighed, and immediatly fell asleep.

*

"Get off."

Globox the Glute was, in the words of Ly the Overexitiable Fairy, "Like, sooooooooooooooooo not a happy bunnykins."

The Robo-Pirate sighed. "Why should we homie? I mean, we're totally digging dragging people in a painful way."

"I can see." snapped Globox.

"Let's throw him in with the short guy!" sqealed another R-P unit.

"What, the kid that looks like he's barely out of playschool? The cute one?"

"Yeah him."

"Let's go homie!"Globox was about to protest when he was kicked quite hard in the backside, landing in a cell.

"Oh great." muttered Globox. "Stuck in a jail cell with a toddler. Pokolus, smite me now."

_Sorry, don't do smiting._

"AUGH!" yelled Globox.

The loud "AUGH!" awoke the child. He yawned, and blinked...looking oddly familiar.

It couldn't be...?

"Rayman?"

"GLOBOX! My fwend!"

Rayman (who was in fact twelve) flung himself at the Glute, who smiled and scooped him up. They sat there hugging for a moment. Then Globox pushed him off.

"You okay kiddo?"

A fire animation flashed in Rayman's eyes. "DON'T CALL ME KIDDO!"

"Alright, alright! I'm sorry!"

Rayman calmed down. "Anyway, I'm not okay. Cus...MY POWAHS HAVE GONE! I can't fire mah lazor anymore!"

"Oh noes!" squealed Globox. "But never mind. I've got a little gift from your GIRLFRIEND!"

Rayman was puzzled. "I'm puzzled."

Yeah, we know.

"Wait, who are you?"

I am awesome. That is all you will know about me.

"Anyway...my girlfriend?"

"Ly."

"Ly is not my girlfriend!"

"Whatever. I bring a gift from her."

Rayman sighed. "Well where is it?"

"Uhh..." With that, Globox started coughing. "Hang on..."

"You..ate it?" asked Rayman.

Globox put the hand he wasn't coughing into in the air. "See any pockets?"

Rayman recoiled., horrified. "Ew! That's so gross! I don't want something thta's been in your digestive system!"

Me neither. That IS gross.

Globox retched, then straightened up and beamed. "Here ya go!" he yelled, holding out a repulsed looking silver ball.

Rayman gasped. "A silver lum!" He went to grab it, but Globox held it high above his head.

"Heyyyyyy, stop picking on the short guyyyy!!!"

"Apologise." said Globox in a smart-arse sort of tone.

"What?" asked Rayman.

"Now."

"Fine." Rayman sighed. "I'm...sorry."

Globox handed him the lum.

"Wow!" giggled Rayman. "I can feel the energy running through my body! Or...something like that...OMG! Globox we're saved!"

Awwwwww....That's so sweeeeettttt!

"Yeah. Now let's go...that grate looks vunerable."

Rayman punched it, and it smashed. Rayman grinned. "Come on Globox."

A long slide later, Rayman stood on the edge of the The Extra-Shiny-Pride-of-the-Seas-as-Dangerous-as-my-Great-Aunt-Josie (Otherwise known as the Buccaneer).

_Whoooosshhhh_

Rayman turned around to see Globox whoooshing towards him in a whooshy sort of way.

"Globox no!"

Too late Ray-Ray-kun! Globox knocked RayRay-kun off of the edge of the E-S-P-O-T-S-A-D-A-M-G-A-J (otherwise known as B) in a comical sort of way.

"WHAAATTTEEVEERRRR THAAAATTT GUUUYYSSSS NAAAMMMEEE WWAAAAASSSS!" screamed Rayman as he fell.

* * *

**Me: Yeah I know that wasn't as funny as other parodys, but it gets better! I pwomise!**


End file.
